Monday, January 24, 2005

Add some excitement

I'm sure by now we are all tired of the same old sports being shown on TV time-after-time. There has to be a way to make these boring sports more exciting.

Never fear, Bro Punk to the rescue. I have compile just a few ideas on how to make the most boring sports exciting.

Many people find poker and golf to be an extremely boring event to watch on the Boob Tube. We'll why not make these events a full contact sport. Never again will a player just bitch and complain after a bad beat when he can just bitch slap his opponent. If you're playing player beats you by several strokes, go after him with your driver.

Hell, even curling should be a contact sport. Your opponent's Second puts the rock on the button, you take out his knees with your broom.

Also when it comes to golf, I think they should make it mandatory for each player to have an air horn and cell phone. What fun is golf when you can't distract your opponent with a loud, annoying noise maker. Nothing says "Nice Shot" like BBBBBLLLLAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.

I believe that sports with boundaries should be rid of these boundaries. Sports such as football, hockey, soccer and basketball should let their fans feel the action. The only problem with this idea is that a beer limit would have to be put on the fans. God knows, we don't want to piss off another agitated black man, right Ron Artest?

Finally, I think that we should get rid of player's agents and replace them with members of the Mafia. I can guarantee players they will get that 3-year $10.5 million contract. How you may ask? Let's just say, the owners will get an "offer they can't refuse."

I hope these ideas may one day enhance your viewing pleasure for sports you wouldn't normally watch. With the hockey lockout and all, we really need to find a way to watch these sports.

Peace out everyone

-Brother Punk-

p.s. On a serious note, we had a lot of laughs from this entry, but yesterday the world lost a very funny man. Johnny Carson died at the age of 79. Although I'm too young to know much about him. I have watched many repeats of the Tonight Show when he hosted it. I just wanted to say that Jay Leno isn't fit to stand on the same stage that Carson once stood.

In this day and age, we have turned into a society of immature humour. Carson could still make dirty jokes, but in a more sophisticated way. To me that is humour, not these poop and fart jokes that we make now.

I think I speak for many when I say, Johnny you're going to be missed. I think everyone is heaven should consider themselves lucky when they hear St. Peter say "HHHHEERRREEESSSS JOHNNY."



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