Thursday, February 17, 2005

Listen carefully

Can you hear it? No, not those bodily noises you're making and no it's not the gun shots going off next door. It's the sound of the fat lady singing the NHL Blues.

If you're like me and a huge hockey fan, the NHL season cancellation is absolutely killing you. I have compiled a list of other things I have been watching on the ol' Idiot Box in place of the hockey.

WARNING: If you have a weak stomach turn away now. This is going to get ugly. By the way, these are real stories. I have really watched these programs. It's sad, really sad.

Curling-Alright, so it isn't that ugly. Actually, I enjoy curling considering I've played the sport for nearly nine years and a member of the SAIT Trojans curling team. Nevertheless, some people find the sport boring and can't bare to watch it. As Jon Stewart, for The Daily Show, said last night "Don't cancel curling."

Golf-(See 6-hour car accident)

NHL on TSN: Classic Edition-Hell, I have every right it watch a game in which I already know the outcome. I have every right to cheer for the underdog, even if I know they lost the game 10-0.

Boxing-Hey, if I can't watch Tie Domi drop the gloves, then let me see Arturo "Thunder" Gatti put the gloves on and punch the crap out of an opponent.

Reality Shows-Watching Bettman and Goodenow argue not enough for you? I've lowered my standards to The Apprentice, The Amazing Race and Survivor. I can only wait for the next season of Big Brother and I can officially call myself lame.

Polo-OK OK, you called my bluff. I fell asleep half way through the match, but still, I watched it. Watching a bunch of rich snobing riding horses and hitting a ball around. The good news is that the sport is at least similar to hockey...kinda...sorta...who am I kidding, its still not hockey.

CPAC-Who needs Pat Quinn yelling at Kerry Frasier over a missed call, when you can what Stephen Harper yell at Paul Martin over same-sex mariage. WOW, I'm pathetic, I need hockey back. Watching two politicians, who aren't even on the same page, screeming at each is a complete joke. You see what this lockout has done to me!

My message here is this cancelled season is going to kill me. If anyone knows of a good psychiatrist please let me know...I'm too young to die.

-Brother Punk-


At 3:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sir Lollipop Man, here...

First of all, polo is badass. Personally, I find it quite amusing. Its like a hybrid cross between golf and showjumping - two boring sports, if they stand along, but they combine for a rip-roaring good time.

I've concluded that polo is like Batman and Robin. =)

Funk out!

Sir Lollipop Man

At 9:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

FunkmasterJ here....yay hockey finnally fell of its dangling thread....the constent talks about it are still alive tho. Its painful. Nevertheless I watch the amazing race (the only reality show i watch)....but you know me...and if hockey was on..i wouldn't be watching anyways...too bad your suffering daun jaun.

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